Insecurities be gone!!!

If only it was really that easy??

I don't want anyone to take offence to this (as there is certainly none intented!) but I think of myself as a kind of 'reverse anorexic'...I have wardrobes and drawers FULL of clothes....in fact so many that I can't actually fit it all in! (Sadly some of my adored - but much too small - clothing has now been packed away into a port until my waistline strinks down to what I imagine I have!)

So yes the 'reverse anoroexia'....in my MIND I THINK and SEE myself as slim and healthy and I look amazing in my clothes........then I put them on and look in the mirror...............needless to say it usually ends in tears, clothing being thrown from one side of the room to the other, more tears, more self loathing.....poor hubby telling me I look fine and me not believing a word of it!

Darling hubby rang me on Thursday and said we're heading out for dinner with friends next weekend....needless to say that I am now on the verge of a nervous breakdown worrying what I'm going to wear!!  I have another week of this to go yet!  With the added weight gain over xmas I can feel the anxiety creeping through my body when I even begin to think what might look 'nice', I'm sitting here almost daring myself to get in my room and FIND something NOW!

I am alone with this?

Do any of you feel like this too?

This is just insane!!

Self sabotage be gone!!!

So thought I'd just touch base with my few followers!  No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth.....more like I fell mouth first into anything and everything that tastes yummy .........and also happens to be laden with calories with very little nutritional value!

But I am back....I put on 3kgs during the xmas/new year holidays and I look like I'm about to pop out a baby!!  My tummy is flabby, bloated and I feel HIDEOUS!!!  Current weight (fully clothed) 76.4kgs

How Much...?????

I had a bit of a chat with myself this morning and kicked my butt a bit.....so breakfast was 2 poached eggs on wholemeal toast....ok I could have just had 1 and felt satisfied but I didn't .....I'm still sliding back into the 'healthy' eating bit lol :)

Lunch was a "CAG Juice" - 2 carrots, 2 apples and some ginger.  YUM!!  Why oh why did I ever stop juicing??  Darling hubby did a massive shop yeaterday whilst I was at work so the fridge and freezer are heaving with healthy choices.  So toinght I am trying to decide between salmon and salad or a juice......I think the salmon will win :P

Tomorrow I'm trying to stick to at least 2 juices (breakfast and lunch) then a smaller protein and salad.  NO COKE, NO CHOCOLATE....if I get to that part of the night where I just feel compelled to eat anything and everything that isn't nailed down I shall take deep breaths and grab a bottle of water.

OK wish me luck ......AGAIN......I know I can do this!!