Well it seems my enthusiasm for getting back into walking daily and enjoying it have hit a tiny snag! My back has other ideas, unfortunately!
Since my operation in February this year, and subsequently returning to work full time, I've been plagued with lower back problems 😕 Nowhere near the same pain I experienced pre-op (thank goodness!!) but it is at a point where it's limiting what I can physically do!
I've been back to see my local GP and will be starting physiotherapy again, in an attempt to loosen up the constantly tight muscles in my lower back.
I'm hoping to have some set exercises that I can complete daily at home, as the 2.5hrs travel (each round trip) to the physio does tend to undo any good achieved during each sessionn!
I refuse to accept that the pain I'm currently having is going to stay with me for the rest of my life! I'm still young, I still have lots I want to do, I want to travel (now the kids are all old enough to look after themselves....we'll almost lol!).
Whilst this journey has been long I no longer feel defeated, as I have in the past. I'm amazed at what I have acheieved! My weight has been like a yoyo, up and down! But I'm not ready to throw in the towel!
My views about my body have changed a lot though during this journey, I no longer feel revolt or disgust when I see my reflection. Maybe it's turning my back on the ever present ads on Facebook, promising a 'sizzling hot summer bod in just 14 days' ( all at the low price of $99.99!!) refusing to look at 'women's magazines' - that constantly promote wafer thin models in floaty frocks? Maybe I'm older and wiser and more accepting of the amazing things my body CAN do instead of focussing on the things it CAN'T?
I'm happy with where I am right now, I have a few kgs to to drop if I'm wanting to get back into the 'healthy weight range' according to my BMI calculator but I'm far from obsessed about reaching this goal, wanting to achieve good health and a fitness level I can maintain without having to become focussed on calories and optimal heart rate!
When I started this blog, it was supposed to be a way to record my progress, the goal was to reach an acceptable weight and shape - one that would be deemed 'acceptable' but acceptable to who? My friends and family - they don't care about these things lol, they care about my wellbeing and my happiness! So was I caught up in the medias hype about what shapes are deemed beautiful? Probably, but I played a part in that, I allowed myself to become lost in that web of lies!
So now the focus has changed, I want to work hard to allow my body to be as 'pain-free' as possible, so that I can enjoy my early morning/late night walks. I look in the mirror and see something beautiful, a body that has achieved amazing things, that has endured more pain than I ever thought possible - but it's still there, carrying me from day to day!
I still have lumps, bumps and jiggles and stretch marks that map out the story of my life so far, but I now love each part of me!
I embrace my perfectly imperfect body, because it is beautiful, because life is too short and because it is who I am, because it is ME!!
No comments:
Post a Comment